Private Flaming, my Solution

I'm a member of a LOT of internet forums and discussion lists, and the downside is the occasional nasty email I get, sometimes privately ("offlist"). This is marginally related to crochet designing because many of these lists are crochet and/or design-related. Today I invented a way to deal with unwelcome offlist emails: I email the person back with this message, below. If you want to use it too, feel free as long as you include the last line with my name and copyright.

****AUTOMATED EMAIL****

****PLEASE DO NOT REPLY****

YOUR EMAIL TO THE ABOVE ADDRESS HAS BEEN REJECTED DUE TO ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING FATAL ERRORS:

--flaming
--rudeness
--threats
--slander
--irrational or inappropriate criticism
--general mean-spiritness

As a special feature of the beta version of this software, any memory of your message has been permanently deleted so that any future communications can begin with a clean slate.

If you feel your message has been blocked in error, choose your words more carefully next time and try pausing before hitting the "Send" button.
Thank you and have a better day.
Powered by Stressblocker v1.0.0 Beta c2006 Vashti Braha

Lily Chin is SO RIGHT

At CGOA's Chain Link conference (July '06 Valley Forge PA), I took a 2-day, 12-hour designing workshop with Lily. It's one of the best, if not THE best thing I've ever done. One of the tips I learned was to use giant graph paper that comes on a giant easel pad from office supply stores. Each page is marked lightly with 1-inch squares.

THANKS TO THIS TIP, I GOT A SET-IN SLEEVE RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY! You know, those weird-shaped sleeve pieces that have sleeve caps, and the calculations for them can be as mathematically esoteric as you want them to be? I was resigned to needing 3+ tries before getting it right so I put it off until I had the necessary patience.

Well, not only did I use the graph paper to sketch a rudimentary sleeve-cap-looking curve freehand AND IT WORKED, I could sit in my comfy chair crocheting it up the whole time while the sketch stayed on the floor at my feet. If you want to, you could crochet a bit then see how the shape is matching up to your sketch, because on 1" graph paper it becomes a paper pattern; BUT DON'T GET UP! Merely glance at your sketch, and the gauge info you've written next to it, and you can see: hmmm, looks like the sleeve cap curve is now about 8 squares (inches) wide, and 2 more stitch pattern repeats should bring the next row up to 8".

WHEN I DID GET UP, my piece magically matched my sketch. BEST OF ALL, I tried seaming it to the body of the sweater and it looks great! Like I spent a lifetime designing set-in sleeves just so that this one could come out looking effortlessly chic!

Wish I could show ya a pic of the project but it's under contract. Is it a tantalizing revelation that it involves a certain excess of collar?

"Did You Make That Yourself?"

Today, when a CPer posted about her discomfort over people's well-meaning question, "Did you make that?" I realized that for months I've been wondering what are the dead giveaways that a crocheted garment or accessory is either storebought or a one-of-a-kind handmade?

[Remaining draft deleted because it wished to become an article instead, and it will appear in the upcoming issue of Crochet me.]